General Funny

Hillbillies And Them Darn Uppity Northerners

Out House

I have often been asked what it is like to be a hillbilly. Well, the question isn’t usually worded quite that way but the query is the same. Even here in the “New Millennium” there is still quite a lot of ignorance out there when it comes to hillbillies. To give you an idea of what I mean I was asked by a relative who lives in Ohio (That foreign land on the other side of the great river) if I had ever heard of King’s Island. Another time I was asked if we could get cable TV where I lived.

Often people will make comments like, “I wouldn’t want to live down there because there’s nothing to do.” Well, unfortunately or not depending upon what you like, Hillbilly country is not the wilderness some may expect, at least not any more. Whether you are in Kentucky, West Virginia, Tennessee or some other state in the Hillbilly Nation you see pretty much the same shopping malls/centers, bars and clubs, fast food restaurants, arenas, etc as you do anywhere else. Heck we even have universities, airports and hospitals down here! 

Heck, these days most hillbillies get our possum from the grocery store just like those fancy New Yorkers. It is sad but true and the younger generation hardly ever kills their own possums any more, it’s all store bought mechanically separated, processed and formed possum in a can. Yum yum good ole Possum Treat!

We all know that those from the north are uppity and we southerners are friendly and hospitable. Of course that isn’t really true, I have traveled from Connecticut to Texas and there really isn’t that much difference in people just based upon where you go. So whether you are in Louisville, or Memphis, or New York City you will meet the same kinds of people. Some good, some bad, some stuck up (snobs) and some not. Oh and there are probably just as many stuck up snobs south of the river as there are north of it.

What many of those northerners may not realize is that there is a stereotype for them as well. Ask most anyone around where I live (in the real USA) what they think of a Buckeye for example. They will tell you that a Buckeye is a worthless nut and the only things that likes them are the squirrels. They will also tell you that Buckeyes and all northerners are stuck up snobs.

So the hillbilly stereotype is that of an uncouth laid back ignorant person who doesn’t have any shoes or education. The Northerner stereotype is that of a stuck up snobbish “I’m better than you” and I am just so fancy type individual. Either stereotype is just as accurate as the other. I have met folks here in the south that actually fit that hillbilly stereotype and I have met plenty of northerners who fit their stereotype as well. I have also met a lot of really good people from Canada to Florida.

Some of what I have said here may not make any sense to you, but it all makes perfect sense to me. The purpose of this blog is to poke fun at hillbillies and stereotypes, but people need to learn that we are all human beings and everyone is fairly much the same wherever you go. Sure, they may pronounce their words a little differently and some of them may have to walk uphill both ways while others licked on a silver spoon. That is why I always tell people they shouldn’t make fun of them foreigners up north so much just because they act and talk funny. They can’t help it they were raised that way.

Bottom line? Some folks get their possum from a can, others from the roadside, still others load up the beer and shotguns and get away from the wife for a night of good fun possum chasing (The best way is to pick up a possum from the roadside so you can just stay out drinking all night and let the wifey think you was a huntin’ for her supper). The moral of the story is that we might get our possum in different ways, but we are all still brothers and sisters and in many cases our sister is our mother and we just may be our own grandpa!

Special note to all Notherners who may read this: If you understood some of this then you are probably fine. If you understood most of it then you should worry. If you understood every word you should seek help, don’t even take the time to shut down your computer, run outside right now and yell, “I need help! I think I might be a Hillbilly!” Or better yet pack up your stuff and head south, you’re too close to the North Pole anyway.

Special note to Southerners: Howdy! Yer doin’ jess fine!

Written by David Slone, Copyright 2008 all rights reserved and may not be copied or republished in any way without express permission.

30 replies on “Hillbillies And Them Darn Uppity Northerners”

They’re buckeyes and were briarhoppers. City people and country kin. Northerners and hillbillies. The gentry and po’ ol’ mountain folks. Cityslickers and rubes. Well I was born in Cleveland, but I’ve lived here so long that this buckeye has grown saw-briar thorns! (Briar: pronounced brahuhr).

I was borned up in Ohi but fortunately my maw and pa moved back to Ky where I was conceived and I got better.

I have met many Northerners that are ignorant, but I have not met a hillbilly that is snobbish… Maybe there is something to be learned from that 😉

I am one of those so called “uppity northerners” and I find your site to be very offensive. Obviously, hillbillies are ignorant jerks and this crap makes all of you look dumb and ignorant.

Hi Sandy

Well, thanks for visiting the site and posting your thoughts. I think you need to lighten up a little as it is all meant to be in fun and I am poking fun at myself and my fellow hillbillies here more than anything. Did you read the entire post? If you did then I can’t really see how you would be offended. My intent is not to offend anyone at all but I would expect a southerner to complain more than anyone else.

Uppity northerners…nah!!…oh wait!! see what you mean – up there ^ ha ha!! Heck!! it didn’t take long did it?

See what you mean about the uppity northerners…proof ^ ha ha!!

I know that you aren’t an ignorant jerk, as was so tastefully put, how else would you have created such a great website.

Anway, i’m from the UK and we also have the north-south divide, only the other way around. Alot of the southerners are the stuck up know it alls, and where i’m originally from, (north) we are supposedly stupid.

I live down south now, but much prefer the true northerners…yorkshiremen and women…salt of the earth. I only live down south as all of my family ended up there…my sis started it.

I think it’s great that you can poke fun at yourself, it’s very amusing how you word it.

I’m from the north originally, so i’m supposedly thick as two short planks, as far as the southerners are concerned. It’s crazy really to judge people like that. You live in the hills, so you can’t possibly be educated as you don’t even own a car!!…Do you live in a mud hut by the way??? lol

Well howdy Jackie!

Actually us hillbillies all live in log cabins if we’re rich or shacks if we’re not.

Thanks for the good words, I appreciate ya!

Howdy Crazy Hillbilly,

I now think i am the thick UK northerner, as look at my message above yours. I’ve repeated myself without even realising…doh!! errr…i meant doh!!

First off…Sandy was it??, HOOWWDEEEE. I didt think any of the uppity northerners would have the guts to admit they read stuff like this, but you have made that brave step, and for that, are to be commended. The first step is always admitting you have a problem…..

I’m am originally from kentucky. But I got transplanted to the North when I married. I have lived among the northerners for over 40 years. Believe me they are ignorant about so many things. But most are decent and nice folks. They think hillbillies are dumb as a bag of hammers. Surprise! we aren’t! We went to school to.

But hey….I think you site is great! It makes me laught and remember back when I grew up in the hills of Ky on a big farm. We killed those hogs and rendered that lard. Ha..we know about cooking with all that grease to. Making lye soap and bathing in a big wash tub.

i lived up north form 13 years and all the nice people upthere are from the south hillbilly country

I spent 26 yrs in the army most of my stateside assighnments being in the southeast.There I was ridiculed constantly because of My native Vermont wich is much more rural than My last duty station in sw virginia. When I retired My wife and I tried to stay on in Her hometown The friendly southeners wouldn’t give Me a job or the time of day.So here we are back in Vermont on top of a mountain and we are happy. I would like to beleive that there are good and bad in all people but this was my expeirience

Speaking as a NYer, that as an eighteen year old, who spent time in NATTC (USMC) Memphis back in 1967, I found that as soon as I uttered, the first couple of words that the locals would turn downright unfriendly, and I would get that, “He’s a durn yankee, look.”

While, up here most of us find southern accents to be charming, and we many not be super friendly on the surface, we are not downright unfriendly, especially for trivial reasons such as birth place.

So, it seems to me that southerners are much quicker not only to stereotype, but to discriminate against, than we from the north.

Has anyone besides me noticed that the only ones who have gotten upset or offended are the northerners? Are you guys serious????? Did you not read the article and the intent…oh what am I even asking for? Obviously you didn’t or you wouldn’t have gotten your northern knickers in a knot.

Great article! (for those of us that actually got it!)

I’m from Minnesota and I don’t think the Upper Midwest really falls into either stereotype. We have “Minnesota nice” here, so we aren’t considered rude like the New Yorkers but we’re more distant than the Southerners. But I’ve found that Southerners think we’re no different than Canada…and maybe there’s a little bit of truth to that.

Howdy Steph! Thanks for that insight I appreciate it. Havent been any further west than Missouri but have been from Canada to Florida and all in between.

do you know what the difference is between a yankey and a damn yankey is?a yankey is one that comes to the south and leaves and goes back north.a damn yankey is one that comes to the south and homesteads down on our land and get in our way wont ever leave! i am from the pineywoods in far s.e. oklahoma.i concider all you yankeys north of the mason dixon line dumb and not very smart at all!

i like to talk to a yankey at times.yall talk funny with yalls fast talk and yalls northern accent.i always gat a big laff from yall.and you englshsters dont talk any better ether.years ago,you yankeys should have stayed in the north and not come to the south and tryed to learn us yalls uppity city skool ways down here in the south.i talk how i want with a hillbilly accent and hunt my possum and coons threw the night while you city folks are laying in bed asleeping.friday nights and saturday nights i got a toad sack full of fresh kill possum and a belly full of that yankeys!!!

You’ve got to remember that some hillbillies are nicer than others. Kentucky, West Virginia, Tennessee—those states have got some nice hillbillies. But the hillbillies in southwest Virginia and north Georgia, they’re not so nice. There are different breeds of hillbillies.

hey cockadoodledoo,thanks for your comment.we got our share of hillbillies here in s.e.,oklahoma where i live. and some of them still have their whiskey stills up in the hills where they run off some off the finest corn liquer that i have found yet.sure beets that old labled stuff that they call whiskey.i found a southern song on youtube i would like for you to listen to.these are some can tell by looking at how they are dressed.i think they are from louisana.they are called “dry hill draggers”.hope you have a great day.type in dry hill draggers-knoxville girl. this is on youtube.hope you enjoy the song.pushmataha county hillbilly.

If you think hillbillies only come from the south, you’ve got to visit New Hampshire!
I’ve heard several explanations for the term “Yankee”. Overseas the term Yankee means anyone from the USA. For Southerners a Yankee is anyone living north of the Mason-Dixon line. For those folks a Yankee is someone living in New England. For folks in New England, a Yankee is someone living in Vermont. And for Vermonters a true Yankee is someone who eats pie for breakfast!

I’ve lived many different places thanks to the military and I’ve found there are friendly people all over just like there are clannish folk that won’t give you the time of day because “ya’ll ain’t from round har”.

Now, I have to say this…
For all those of you who think that northerners are nice and can be hospitable I give you Iowa as an example. To be more specific central Iowa.
I have lived here for going on 12 years now and I have to say that these people are some of the most inhospitable people you may ever meet.
I moved here from Missouri (Yes, Missouri is southern south of that river, the line used to come up to the Missouri and it is represented by a star on the battle flag) for a job, where I worked for 9 years until the plant shut down. There were still fellow employees that never even spoke to me, not a good morning, how ya doing…NOTHING!
My wife works at the local Hy-Vee here in town (Boone) and during a meeting in which it was discussed of a new Hy-Vee opening up in Springfield, Missouri one of the top managers said with a laugh, “We need people to transfer because those hillbillies down there wear nothing but overalls and run around barefoot.”
Just try to find a place to hunt of fish here. I asked a guy I worked with where he went fishing and was told, “None of your business.”
I have tried being friendly to these people but I continue to get doors shoved into my face and if you open a door for some one well don’t expect a thank you because you won’t get it.
Now, I know you are thinking it’s sour grapes but nothing could be further from the truth.
To those persons who have shown me kindness here I thank them but after asking them where they are from the answer is usually that they moved in from another state.
The radio station up here tells Missouri jokes on how dumb people from Missouri are. In all the years I lived in Missouri I have never heard of jokes about Iowans.
I always have a smile on my face but that smile is beginning to fade.

Well I live in Southern West Virginia in Raleigh County. Everyone around here is really nice and down to earth. I know that we hillbillies have our rude moments just like everyone else. My boyfriend of 3 years and I constantly find ourselves bringing up the North. We went on a little vacation to Chicago last summer and found it to be a beautiful city. Some of the people were very nice and others would hear me talk and immediately laugh and say “did you hear that girl’s accent ? How hick !” I suppose that sometimes it was our own fault – we did stand outside of our Hilton hotel barefoot in our pajamas (in our defense , we had a non-smoking room) and people actually came up to us and asked us why we were barefoot. They actually looked surprised when I said it was a lot more comfortable than wearing those oxfords. And yes southern hospitality is alive and well. While most people looked upon the homeless beggars as beneath them, we wanted to help. There was a old African American man with one leg and a veteran hat on sitting in a wheelchair outside the 7-11 across from our hotel. We had seen him before and given him the few dollars we had left in our pocket from the day but the last day we were going to be in Chicago we made a plan. The man had always been very nice and said hello and even said he loved my accent (he said he hadn’t heard one in years). We went to the ATM outside of the hotel and took out 200$ , the last little bit we had for our vacation. We went over to him and handed him the money. The guy looks up at us with tears in his eyes and said “Thank you , no one has ever taken the time to care about me before.” I immediately got very sad for him , how can you not take pity on someone so nice in such a bad place. I had to hug him , I didn’t care that he had an odd smell , so did the cows and the chickens and every other thing I’d ever come in contact with. I felt bad for this poor man and wanted to help. That’s southern hospitality – being a genuinely nice person no matter what someone’s situation is – whether they’re from the North or the South. We all bleed red and we’re all on this Earth together, why can’t we make life a little easier? It’s as simple as a quick smile and a hello , even just a wave. That man even told us the first thing he was going to do was get a bite to eat and a cold beer. I don’t care that he’s buying alcohol with it , I gave that money to him to better his life . It’s his discretion on how to use it. I’m glad he went and got his belly full and I hope it lasted him a little bit and eloped him out. I don’t miss that money – I have a nice home and a great family and a wonderful life. Sure sometimes things mess up and it gets me down but I always think of him and how everything could be a lot worse. That’s the mindset of a lot of southerners. We’ve seen people in bad places (most often our own families) and we feel the need to help. We want to make them feel happy and welcome. I know we have our fair share of rude people but that’s definitely not how 99% of us are. I’ve always said that West Virginia is a beautiful state – inside and out ????

I have been in Missouri for ten years…can’t take it anymore…moving back to the coast. Intellectually and culturally, Missouri is a desert. City people call them the “Bush people” here. I call them the FLUD people. The Fattest, Laziest, Ugliest, Dumbest mofos on the planet. “Bye now, ya’ll cum back, ya heah.” No thanks. Right off the front porch of Hee Haw.

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