Categories
General Funny

Educational Programs For The Non-Hillbilly

Genuine Hillbillies
Genuine Imitation Hillbillies

Before television hillbillies arrived on the scene much of the non-hillbilly world knew very little about these elusive people. I mean, have you ever seen National Geographic go film any crazy hillbillies?

The most well known hillbilly show, of course, was the Beverly Hillbillies. Many other fine educational programs designed to inform the world about the fine points of hillbilly life were produced over the years. Millions of people learned what a hillbilly was and how they behaved while they sat in front of their TVs. It was educational programming for the non-hillbilly (hillbilly challenged?) which presented a true life picture of hillbilly behavior.

Great educational classics such as Li’l Abner and Ma and Pa Kettle paved the way for a brighter future for humanity by providing the world with a historically and culturally accurate depiction of the hillbilly in his (or her) native habitat.

Categories
Hillbilly Women Outhouse Humor

Outhouse Diving For Drunk Hillbilly Girl

Outhouse
Smurf Outhouse

I have never lived in a house where we had to have an outhouse, but I do recall family members who did. Whenever we went to stay with any of these people we knew that we were going to be trudging out to the outhouse in the middle of the night.

According to some stories there was a 12 year old girl who went out around midnight to go to the outhouse. A long time passed but she didn’t come back into the house. Her parents became very worried and went out to check on her. The outhouse door was shut so they knocked on the door, “Are ya in thar? (Spoken as one word ‘ar-yin-thar’)” There was no reply.

Categories
Hillbilly Cooking

Hillbilly Cream Of Wheat

I do love Cream of Wheat and I do have a box in the kitchen. I think after I post this Cream of Wheat stuff I am going to go into the kitchen and fire up the old coal stove and run out to the well to get me some water and then I am a gonna make me some of that delicious Cream of Wheat (I wish they were paying me to say that but they aint).

Anyway, here is a Hillbilly Cream of Wheat recipe and an old old magazine ad which proves that cartoon characters have long been moonlighting in advertising. Humans are a commercial creature so it is completely normal for our fictional characters to be so as well.

Categories
General Funny

Hillbillies Gather In Huge Numbers

Hillbilly Days is an annual festival held in Pikeville, Kentucky. Hillbilly Days is much like any other festival except there are hillbillies everywhere you look!

I have visited the Hillbilly Days festival a few times and I have to tell you that I am not too impressed by it. But that’s just me. The only part I really enjoyed for myself was the live bluegrass music and of course it is fun to watch the kids have fun.

As far as I can tell Hillbilly Days is just like any other festival I have checked out – over commercialized. Maybe it has always been that way, but it seems like when I was a kid there was a lot more to a festival than vendors selling highly over priced souvenirs and food.

Categories
Funny Pictures

Hey Pappy Daddy Grampa!

Just a generation or two ago many hillbillies still didn’t know the exact details of how a baby came to be. In fact a lot of them didn’t know any general details either. A couple generations ago I didn’t know anything about the subject myself, but that was mostly due to my age, which was none.

This man and his daughter had been having some special family lovin’. One day he was surprised by the arrival of a newborn son, errr uhhh grandson, well in any event a kid was born and wasn’t expecting it. Little buddy, your daddy-papaw loves you and you’re gonna grow up to be a fine plow boy someday!

Categories
General Funny

Hillbilly Stereotypes And Nutty Buckeyes

Having spent a lot of my youth in the Kentucky hills I grew up hearing and seeing all the stereotypes associated with “hillbillies” and country folk. While people have different ways of speaking and doing things in different parts of the world most of the stereotypes are greatly exaggerated and some aren’t even close.
 
These days the cultural differences among people from different parts of the US are growing smaller and smaller. It is as though the world is getting smaller. 30 years ago you might have to drive 25 miles of narrow, curving roads through the steep hills to get to a major store. Today the same person can just get on the “new” four lane highway and be there in less than 15 minutes as they drive in excess of 55 mph.
 
Cable and satellite television, free or low cost nationwide telephone calls and the Internet have also made the world, for all practical intents, a smaller place. Children are growing up with television and the world wide web and even those who live in the “boonies” are exposed to a much larger culture than were previous generations.
 
When I was a child we had 4 television channels including PBS. We received our signal from a network of antenna wire that was strung through the trees and up into the tops of the hills. I recall many times walking through those hills following that line looking for breaks, fallen tree limbs and other problems that caused us to lose our TV. Naturally this happened more in bad weather and especially in the winter months.
 
We had family up in Ohio so we often visited. I was always amused by what my cousins thought of Kentucky and the people. To them it was almost as if we were living in a different country. They believed television programs like the Beverly Hillbillies accurately depicted those living “south of the river”. Sometimes I played on their ignorance and exaggerated my accent and mentioned things like ‘possum stew. Recently I was in Brooklyn and was asked if it were true that some people in Kentucky ate ‘possum. I told the guy that yeah, everybody down there eats ‘possum but not more than two or three times a week. I never told him any different.