Who Was The Hottest Hillbilly Girl Ever?

The Beach Boys sang about California girls, but I bet they never had the thrill of seeing a real live hillbilly girl. If they had the song would have turned out much different. I can picture the music video for Hillbilly Girls in my mind and trust me, it is hot. I would imagine that several of the women in the video would even have most of their teeth left.

The women on this page are the stuff that both dreams and nightmares are made of. Anyway, there are women here that will strain your eyes and make your heart skip a bit or two. I know that many of you will be tempted to right click and save, but do you really want to spread this stuff further and risk others seeing it?

You may have nightmares after you view these women. The nightmares will be triggered because you will want them so badly but not be able to have them. Remember, website women whether they be hillbilly or not are look only files so you cant squeeze them and hug them (Unless you buy very expensive software).

Anyway, enough of this rambling and on to the beautiful hillbilly gals!

When the discussion turns to hillbilly hotties, and it always does, most men will think right away of such beauties as Lulu Roman, Ralph (from Green Acres), and Doris Ziffel from the same show. Just take a gander at Sweet Doris and imagine her in a swimsuit. (After you recover continue reading).

We have some weird ones, even among us hillbillies, and so I will also mention Jethrine Bodine and Barney Fife the cross dresser. (Oh you didn’t know that ole Barney was a cross dresser? More on that later).

This page is for those real men out there who want to admire beautiful women (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) and aint afraid to admit it. Real men like the ones from back in the good ole days when men were men and sheep were nervous.

Something Different About Jethrine Bodine

Modern supermodels couldn’t stand up to the natural beauty of real hillbilly women, but I admit that they could very well give hillbilly cross dressers like Jethrine here a run for the money.

However, if you are in the group of men who is smiling at Jethrine’s picture right now then maybe you don’t care about supermodels anyway. If you are in the group of women who are smiling at the picture then maybe you’re straighter than you think. To either group I suggest that you read on down for Barney the cross dresser.

Jethrine was Pearl Bodines daughter… err uhhh.. well, lets just say she was Pearl’s young’n, and was almost as pretty as her maw.

Sweet Temptress Ralph

Sweet beautiful Ralph was a character on Green Acres. Ralph was what made Green Acres so successful and was responsible for the show not being cancelled immediately.

The producers were smart and they knew that both men and women were in love with this beautiful temptress. The only reason people watched Green Acres was because they hoped to catch a glimpse of her. If she weren’t in the cast no one would have watched it.

The sad thing was that the writers never let her find love in the series. Although we know that they did that to save us home viewers from heart ache and pain it is still sad. Yet, how sad it would have been to have had to watch someone else hold the beloved Ralph girl.

LuLu Roman

Lulu Roman was a member of the Hee Haw show and was the only reason we gathered in front of our TV sets to watch the show. So many of us grew up watching Lulu and dreaming about her and hoping that someday we could be lucky enough to find a hillbilly woman of our very own who was as beautiful she was. Lulu was so beautiful that it literally hurt your eyes just to look at her.

Cross Dresser & Hillbilly Heart Breaker Barney

Now for Barney Fife the cross dresser. On more than one episode of The Andy Griffith Show Barney dressed up as a woman. Naturally, Barney rationalized his behavior referring to his clothes as a disguise, yeah right. Once he even “disguised” himself as a mannequin.

In one episode he dressed up as a woman to foil a robber. On another he dressed up as a bride for Earnest T. Bass of all people (Image on left), but as it usually does on shows like this the wedding between the two didn’t go through and Earnest’s heart was broken once again. It was a very sad episode indeed and people everywhere cried when they saw how Earnest’s emotions were toyed with and how his hopes and dreams of a happy life with Barney were shattered. It took a long time for Barney to shake the nickname Hillbilly Heart Breaker and even longer for Earnest T. Bass to become a celebrity. The depression he suffered ruined his career and followed him throughout the rest of his life as a voice for fake cartoon characters instead of playing real people like on TV shows. (They are real people aint they?)

What else do we know about Barney? He was never married and as far as we ever saw in the series he never did make a move on Juanita or any of his other girlfriends.

Hee Haw Honey

There is one more hillbilly hottie who I would like to mention. I am including her here more out of pity than anything else. I feel sorry for the poor girl and I know she has had a hard time because of her homely looks. I thought I would give her a little boost and maybe make her feel a little better about herself for being included with such beautiful women (and pseudo-women).

Her real name is Misty Rowe but she better known as THE Hee Haw Honey. She was a cast member of the Hee Haw show, but they kicked her out because she wasn’t as good looking as Lulu and they were always fighting about it. “I wish I looked like you!” she said to Lulu and then she went off crying and packed her bags. She begged her way onto a new show called the Hee Haw Honeys which was canceled soon afterwards.

Take a look at this poor homely Hee Haw Honey. Does your hillbilly wife look like that?

Jane Hathaway

NOTE: Jane Hathaway was not a hillbilly, but if she had been she would have won as THE most beautiful and THE hottest hillbilly woman of all time. Even in this small thumbnail image you can see how incredible this creature was.

Since Jane actually knew some real live hillbillies I thought she deserved at least a mention on this prestigious blog page that I am sure will go down in history (I just hope it goes up in traffic!). I try to do my part for the advancement of the Arts and Humanities by providing people with stuff to read when they are on break from doing anything productive.

Thanks for reading this far. I can hardly believe you have read this silly thing all the way to the last period.

Here is our runner up for the Hottest Hillbilly Girl (Added by special request!):

Written by David Slone, Copyright 2008 ~ 2009 all rights reserved and may not be copied or republished in any way without express permission.