Today we are going to look at the truth about Hillbilly stereotypes. Remember, every word of this is true. (or it wouldn’t be on the Internet!)
To most of America, a Hillbilly is a person, usually white, uneducated, and living in the southern United States. The word Hillbilly is sometimes used as an insult, but more commonly it’s used in a joking fashion.
A common stereotype of Hillbilly life is that we are all inbred. Ask your self this: Is everyone in the south hideously deformed? If you answered yes, LEAVE NOW. My purpose here is to disprove all the unfair stereotypes that Hillbillies are forced to live with. All (ok, most) of these stereotypes are completely false.
A common myth is that all hillbillies live in the middle of the woods, and eat whatever they accidentally hit with their car. This is true!*
*Okay, no, it’s not true. Here is what one reader had to say,
” What you said bout hillbillies running over critters for food was misleadin’ folks! Everybody knows that most us hillbillies don’t have cars. We usually have to wait for a northerner to come passin through. They caint drive a lick and always gonna leave roadkill along the way. We worry bout our women and chilluns somethin fierce!
But it is working out for the best I reckon. Before them uppity northerners started passin’ through roadkill was hard to come by. Truth be told we was a goin’ hungry mite near all the time. But now that we got tourists a runnin’ up and down the roads we can have roadkill just as often as them fancy folk up north.”
Now if you think about it, roadkill does sound really tasty.
You are probably gettin’ hungry just reading this.
I know I am!
Roadkill, It’s Not Your Pre-packaged Veggie Burger
When you, as a northerner, eat your fancy little pre-packaged veggie burger, not only are you slowly diminishing your manhood (quite literally in some cases), you are also trusting whoever manufactured that veggie burger not to slip something nasty in!
Who knows, companies who produce veggie burgers are businesses as well, and Lord knows businesses in these tough economical times could use a little break on expenses. Maybe that healthy “veggie” burger is actually just some road kill, spit, and a touch of parsley.
Don’t worry and wonder what you are eating and feeding to your family! When you eat road kill, you are fully aware of what you are eating. And boy is it good!
REMEMBER! Pre-packaged Veggie Burger taste terrible! Don’t let your family eat that garbage!
Another stereotype is that Hillbillies are Rednecks. This is absolutely not true! Our necks are tastefully tan, with areas of black. I asked a doctor about it once, and he mumbled some medical nonsense about the oil that comes from certain easily-killed animals. I don’t have a clue what he was talking about.
The stereotype that really makes me angry is that all Hillbillies listen to banjo music. I, as a full-fledged Hillbilly, love classical music. There is just something about listening to Bach while scraping dinner of the road… Can you say irony?
Though Hillbillies take a lot of crap, they are really a friendly, industrious, and hospitable people. Also, you should know that we have just as many stereotypes for Northerners as you do for Hillbillies! And be careful when making fun of hillbillies. We know where you live (somewhere north of where we live, right…?)
Roadkill Cooking for Campers: Best Dang Wild Game Cookbook in the World
Over 350 mouthwatering recipes that offer something for every outdoorsman, fisherman, hunter, RVer and camper.
In addition to dozens of tasty recipes, this unique book has 65 humorous illustrations. Secrets of Hunters and Trappers — fun and useful! And it’s a great novelty gift.
The next time one of you fancy northerners decides to go camping out in the wild take a book like this along with you! You are bound to encounter a lot of people driving around and running over coons, possums and even deer. Take advantage of what the good Lord provides right there on the roadside to feed you and your family. Be proud knowing that your family is eating a good natural meal.
Roadkill Cooking for Campers
The Best Dang Wild Game Cookbook in the World
Divided into ten recipe sections:
1. Big Game Delights
2. Small Game Tummy Fillers
3. Winged Creatures
4. Fish And Other Water Critters
5. Liquid Concoctions
6. Vegetable Treats
7. Nuts, Seeds, Blossoms
8. Fruits And Berries
9. Breads, Butters Sauces, Puddings too
10. and Hodgepodge.
Get a Copy of Roadkill Cooking for Campers
Hillbilly Style Roadkill Cooking “It’s Not Just For Breakfast Anymore”
Be Sure to Learn More Common Sense and Cooking Skills by Reading These:
Copyright 2009 D Slone all rights reserved and may not be copied or republished in any way without express permission.